Is it Solitude or Isolation?

Solitude comes from an attitude of self love and self-acceptance; isolation is what people do when they hate themselves. - Chris D.

Many of us are introverted individuals living in an extroverted culture.  Introversion and its corresponding social anxiety (and a tendency towards isolation and avoidance) are challenges, especially in early recovery, as we learn to navigate our social and personal lives without psychoactive substances.  

Today, with social media groups and various options online for self help,  there are many ways to connect with others on the same path. 

Introverts need solitude to recharge, but where the need for solitude crosses the line into unhealthy isolation is an important distinction. 

Isolation is often marked by a feeling of emotional emptiness and bitter loneliness.  While solitary, it is a depleting, harsh, deficiency state, marked by a sense of estrangement. 

Solitude, on the other hand, is a choice to develop inner richness, renewal and perspective.  It is a positive and constructive state of engagement with oneself. Solitude is desirable, a state of being alone where you provide yourself wonderful and sufficient company.

Solitude is something you choose.

Solitude restores.

Isolation depletes.

“The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.” - Johann Hari

See this TedEx where Johann Hari discusses how important bonds and relationships are to recovery.

Alive, Present, and Free

"What if we eliminated the word "sober?"  I don't like that word.  Would it be a bad thing if I didn't like that word?  Why can't it be called 'Alive, Present, Free?'  The addiction is no longer what I do in with my life.  It is not in my life."  ~BC

Ever noticed how, when your heart is full (or empty), that it's hard to find the words?        Welcome to the Olympics of Healing. 

If you are feeling "Alive, Present and Free" the word "sober" may not accurately describe your experience of recovery.  Nor does it have to.  We are at liberty, and even more importantly, it is vital to recovery, to witness feelings and experiences authentically.  

Whether we are feeling “Alive, Present and Free,” or identify strongly with the word sober as the second part of “Clean and Sober,” is personal,  changes, and is something to consider on a daily basis.  The work is to stay in the present moment; breathe; practice non-avoidance of self, and let go of how we think we "should" be.  There is no "right" way to feel an experience.  It just is.  Recovery is all about learning to trust yourself, and accepting all parts of yourself and your experiences without avoidance.  So let's just relax and accept that some days we are going to feel full; and on others, we may feel absolutely gutted.  It's called life on life's terms.

If we are open, will feel joy and we will feel pain ~ and it all gets blended up together in the giant green smoothie of human emotion and experience.  We can be confident we are whole when we allow ourselves to feel it all in the mix, and not reach outside ourselves for distractions from living life on life's terms.  Here's to standing up tall in the middle of our experiences, come what may.

All experiences are just that:  experiences; not life sentences.  So, we keep practicing what we need to do to continue on the path; One Day at a Time, One Breath at a Time, One Act of Self- and Other-Love at a time.

"The question is, are you going to grow or are you going to just stay as you are out of fear, and waste your precious human life by status quo-ing instead of being willing to break the sound barrier? Break the glass ceiling, or whatever it is in your own life? Are you willing to go forward?" ~ Pema Chodron, fail fail again fail better ©2015