Old Man of Storr, Isle of Skye, Scotland

I just returned from a trip to Scotland with my daughter and her partner. It was an adventurous trip for us. We hiked the Old Man of Storr on the Isle of Skye, dipped our faces in the fountain of youth, met a rebel designer named Claire, and learned that my affinity for wandering is highly regarded as the “Right to Roam. “ In Scotland trespassing as a concept and law do not exist. We also threw the ashes of my recently deceased brother overboard into the Loch Ness and met a ghost in the underground vaults of Edinburgh. Lots of discovery, the most meaningful of which was that regardless of our itinerary were truly happy and excited to share the experiences. We are free to “be” together, and our space is open and unconditional. I am beyond grateful that this is our relationship today. It feels like good karma.

It all brought me back to the karma I had with my mothers, and the messages and conditioning I received from them about myself — all of which were a direct result of all the messaging and conditioning they received about themselves (their karma) from their own families. My mothers became a narrative for me, a tale of two mothers, two lives, and two choices. Both of my mothers had babies out of wedlock in the 50’s and 60’s, a time when this was not well accepted by society. My adoptive mother kept her first baby and my biological mother mother did not. We all have the right to choose that which we can live with. Each to her own karma.

When we see clearly, we become aware of karma’s ripple effect and surface patterns. Some of these patterns we will notice inside ourselves. They may arise in our consciousness as a way of being, thinking, and acting in the world. We may not want to continue or pass these messages, beliefs or behaviors on to our own children, as much as there may be many things that we do hope to pass on. I love both of my mothers. I am grateful to my birth mother for providing me with with the gift of life, and I am also grateful to my adoptive mother for providing a “fiercely-lived” example of the importance of being true to oneself, come what may. Awareness of karma, or generational conditioning, has been essential to unearthing my own center. Staying open and aware has shifted my sense of myself, and I have come to believe and do something other than what I was conditioned to believe and do. Something other than what my mothers were conditioned to believe and do. So that I might learn a karmic lesson.

If we are receptive, we will learn many karmic lessons throughout our lives. My friend Jennie Lee says we should think of life as an ongoing karma project. Her formula is simple (but not necessarily easy): Take a quiet moment in meditation and ask yourself what needs completing in your life? Once your get your answer, establish an action plan to change old patterns in order to finish the lesson. (See Spark Change, Question #54).

One question I ask myself a lot is: Am I stuck in a karmic pattern or am I forging a new path? Our conditioning very often becomes an ongoing pattern simply because we lack awareness of it. Even so, karma is not some sort of predestination theology. Take some time. Get still. No matter the lesson, we have been given the gifts of awareness, free will, courage, acceptance, compassion, forgiveness, and gratitude. We can use these gifts to our own benefit, not to mention the benefit of others. New karma is being seeded all the time. The goodness is that we can choose to redirect and recondition ourselves and our karma by acting with heart and wisdom, rather than repeating negative patterns from old conditioning.

Step inside and spend some time with yourself. Direct your attention inwardly. Ask: What is motivating me as I take action? Is it fear or love? Am I motivated by an attitude of compassion and non judgment? Am I free of resentment and assumption? Essentially: Is the energy around my action positive or negative?

We are creating karma all the time whether we are aware of it, or not. All it takes to re-condition or complete a lesson is self-awareness combined with positive intention and mindful action moment by moment. One day at a time.

Life may not be a dress rehearsal, but it is a practice.